A State-of-the-Blog Post

Ahh, to be a cozy little mummy… thing.

Hi Friends. With the end of the year coming up swiftly I wanted to do a little “state of the blog” post to set some goals and expectations for the new year. If you’re just stumbling in here randomly, most of this may not be that interesting to you (but I hope you’ll decide to stick around!). If you’re a long-time reader who’s interested in reading some of my thought processes, well, then you’re in the right place.

This has been one heck of a year, for sure. While I haven’t been able to write as much as I would have wanted, I have had plenty of time to think about what anime and my writing hobby mean to me in a larger context. It might not be evident from just the posts on this site, but I’ve been doing first episode reviews since around Spring 2007; I started off writing short impressions of new anime on Livejournal (oof), and then had the opportunity to work together with a friend to establish an anime review website. Some of these old posts still exist in one form or another, but many more of them have basically been wiped from the internet due to the various platform changes I’ve made over the years (which is probably for the best – my writing’s never been great but I think it’s a little more respectable now). S1E1 has gone through a few transitions over the years, and after some major life stuff I settled on WordPress as a blogging tool and started posting again in 2016. In between 2007 and 2016, there had been a ton of changes in anime fandom, probably the biggest of which was the availability of the media itself. In 2007 it was all fansubs all the time if you wanted to be current on newly-airing anime; by 2016 official streaming had taken off and it was common for most if not all major anime series to find a home on one service or another. In 2007, I felt like I was doing myself and my friends a service by putting in the leg work to find, download, and review episodes of all the new series each season; by 2016, it wasn’t that much work at all and there were now multiple places to find high quality first episode impressions (in addition to ANN, which had also been putting out preview guides since the fansub days – I would obviously be remiss in not mentioning them).

I’ve kept plugging away at it for a while, sometimes in fits and starts, but it’s a challenge; not only do I have less free time than I used to, now that I’ve progressed in my “day job” to the point that I have a lot more responsibility (and therefore an additional mental burden), coming home and trying to plow through multiple new episodes of anime and then write something thoughtful to my own standards is frankly a very stressful proposition for me. Add to that the fact that I’m a pretty slow worker with focus issues and there just isn’t a way for me to keep on top of all the new premieres in a timely way. I’m good for a day or two, but then I’ll hit one of those days with like eleven new premiere episodes and see myself fall behind horribly, never to catch back up. ANN has several writers on staff to carry that burden, and their format is more succinct; try as I might, being concise is just not in my DNA, and in the end it’s just me writing and editing my own work while flailing around.

One of the many things this year has taught me is that I need to be kinder to myself. It’s hard; after years of my brain sabotaging my self-esteem, it’s difficult to change that mindset into something more constructive. I also suspect I might have a learning disability; since meeting my spouse and learning the details of the ADHD diagnosis he received as a teen, I’ve realized that I also exhibit a lot of those same traits. One of my goals for 2021 is to get a formal assessment and perhaps learn why I have so many issues with executive function and focus. But either way, there are factors that make it difficult for me to keep depression and anxiety at bay, and I’ve had to learn just to let go of things I’ve wrongly obligated myself to do (like writing a certain amount per week, or watching a certain amount of anime in a day) in favor of taking care of myself – eating enough, sleeping enough, or just disengaging from the internet for a while.

What that means is that I don’t think I’m going to try to keep up with first episode reviews for the near future. Feeling obligated to do them has left me frozen, unable to move on to actually watching seasonal anime – instead I just get stuck not being able to write a review and move onto the next show. There has been so much good anime this year that I’ve fallen horribly behind on watching because of this. Instead, I want to move more toward watching what I want and then writing something if I feel driven to do so. I’d rather be less formulaic and more spontaneous, giving myself the freedom to write longer and more thoughtful posts. I’d like to pick up the threads of some of the watch-alongs and episode analyses I’ve done in the past, and maybe even follow a series or two weekly again. I realize that I’ve been sort of “known” for first episode reviews for a while, but I just don’t think they’re sustainable for me at this time (though I’m not discounting very short groupings of impressions since I do plan to still watch at least an episode or two of everything each season).

Of course, I’ve also spent some time thinking about my goals for the website in the new year, and to leave off on a positive note I wanted to talk about some things I have in the planning stages. Hopefully readers can look forward to these soon.

One thing that’s taken up a lot of my time the past couple of months is Hades, a video game that’s gotten fairly popular recently. While video games aren’t my primary interest, I do like to talk about the ones I play for a substantial amount of time here at the blog, so expect to see some writing about the game’s themes here soon.

I’ve mentioned before that my favorite anime is Den-noh Coil (or Dennou Coil if you prefer the unofficial, less awkward romanization), and while I’ve not been successful in getting the anime club to watch the show with me recently (though I can be persistent, for sure), I’d love to do a watch-along essay series here at some point. Maybe then I can convince some more folks to enjoy it with me. It’s a great series and despite the fact that it’s been around for a while and finally managed to make it’s way to an official release in the US I haven’t seen much writing on it. I’d love to add my own touch to the discourse.

Speaking of anime clubs, one thing I’ve noticed over the years is that anime clubs get a bad rap. It’s fairly easy to find videos and blog posts about anime club horror stories, but much more difficult to find ones that talk about the positive experiences people have had. I’ve belonged to a particular anime club for nearly twenty years at this point, and while of course there’s been drama for the most part I don’t know what I would have done without the friendships I’ve made there and the great interactions I’ve had with other anime fans. So I’m planning to share some of the positive things that I’ve had the privilege to experience at my local anime club in order to try to offset some of the less-positive things people like to dish about.

Beyond that, I have a couple of incomplete essay series I’d really love to get back to. I recently received some incredibly kind feedback about my Mononoke book club series, which for whatever reason I wandered away from right before the final story arc (perhaps I just didn’t want it to end?). I’ve always felt weird about not finishing it, and I think receiving some positive comments and feedback may have been what I needed to get back to it. I have some additional things to say about the second story arc (Umi-bouzu or “Sea Bishop” as it was so oddly translated into English), and one more story arc to analyze (Bakeneko 2). I’d also really love to return to watch more of Legend of the Galactic Heroes, which I had really enjoyed a lot more than I thought I might at the outset (who knew that interplanetary politics could be so compelling?).

And finally, I’d really love to be able to write about the anime series I’ve managed to watch this year. This includes newer stuff like Deca-Dence and Appare-Ranman!, as well as some older favorites like the Higurashi/When they Cry series. These have all made this year just a little bit more bearable, and I’d love to sing their praises in some way.

If you’re still here after all that, thanks for sticking around until the end, and I hope this all makes some sense. I’m optimistic about the year to come, and I hope you’ll find it worthwhile to continue the journey into 2021 and beyond.