Odd Taxi Episode 11 – Envy

Thursday was the first Summer session meeting of the anime club I attend, and boy was I thankful for the opportunity to revisit some great anime that I’ve previously enjoyed. While I love watching seasonal anime, there’s so much of it that I find it difficult to re-watch anime series from even the recent past, so this weekly appointment with other anime-loving friends has been an real boon to my fandom. Also, having the opportunity to share amazing anime with others is an experience that will never get old for me.

Watching something more than once gives me the opportunity to catch onto details I may have missed the first time around; this is partly why I’ve stopped attempting to write about these Odd Taxi immediately after watching the first time. With so much going on, I find that it’s helpful to watch the episode a second time with my partner and really try to take in what’s happening without also trying to take screenshots and jot down notes. I also like to let the content simmer for a bit too, because sometimes inspiration strikes at odd times.

Once again, Previous entries are linked below.

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
Episode 10

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I actually watched this episode the day of release, but then got overwhelmed and had a difficult time pulling my thoughts together even after a asecond viewing with my partner. Over the last couple of weeks, my experience watching Odd Taxi could probably be summed-up by the meme which features a large, wide-eyed white cat with the caption “heavy breathing.” I find myself practically vibrating with anticipation now that I’ve caught up with the series and have to wait a week in between episodes like everyone else.

With all the points-of-view featured throughout the series, one that I didn’t realize that I was missing was Rui’s. Admittedly this is partly my fault, because of some internal prejudices about the ways in which idol culture tends to operate. There’s an implied helplessness to being an idol, primarily because idols don’t seem to be the masters of their own destinies. Their images, music, and lives seem so controlled and dictated by group management that one might mistakenly assume that the individual members don’t have their own dreams and motivations. Obviously this is wrong-headed; thought my problems with idol culture are many, the individuals participating in it are as variable and human as anyone else. And there have already been several scenes throughout this series that speak to the experiences of the Mystery Kiss idols outside of their performing work.

Rui is a woman with ambition, but whose self-esteem issues begin to veer her toward toxic thought patterns. Her situation hits very close to home with me. Growing up I was very into drawing and I was treated as though I had a talent for it, to the point that I felt as thought that talent defined me as a person. I was “the girl who was good at drawing.” once I entered the real world I learned that my skills were mediocre at best – not really the worst lesson to learn, but because I had spent my life to that point being highly praised but not necessarily being taught how to work hard and improve, I felt as thought I had somehow lost the one thing that had made me a worthy person. It’s taken me a long time to recover from that and in some ways I don’t think I ever have.

I’ve come to believe that one of the biggest injustices that we often inadvertently (and with the best of intentions!) inflict upon young people is that of praise without context. It’s not wrong to compliment someone for something they’ve done well, but I think it is wrong to harp on some skill as the result of innate ability rather than work and practice. Talent is only a small part of success and when innate ability runs out it’s so easy to then think that the related struggled constitutes a personal failing. Failure at something is part of learning, and it’s a skill we ought to be able to hone more.

Rui’s story is familiar because her insecurities are so common. And because of that familiarity, my blood ran cold when Mystery Kiss’s producer asked Mitsuya to step in as center. As someone with poor self-esteem, I feel well-equipped to speak to the fact that encountering roadblocks to success is often a much larger setback for someone with emotional issues than it might be for someone a little more well-adjusted. There’s also the tendency to project and to lash-out and blame others for somehow “sabotaging” the situation; it’s easier to blame others rather than to turn inward. I’ve done this in the past; I don’t think it’s ever gotten to the point where the person I was envious of caught wind of my feelings and I never actively worked to cause them problems or bully them for the “offense” of being better than me at something, but I’ve definitely experienced a lot of misplaced anger over the years and perhaps written and deleted a few social media posts that wouldn’t reflect well on me as a person.

The world of Odd Taxi features much higher stakes, however. We already knew by the end of the previous episode (and before that, many of us suspected due to various clues) that Mitsuya was dead; the only question was the mechanism by which she was killed and by whom. Considering how this episode unfolds, the natural suspect is Rui, but it seems like she might not actually be the culprit. But she’s also the one telling the story of this flashback, so… In a show with so many unreliable viewpoint characters, it’s difficult to say anything for sure, but I’m definitely thankful for this additional perspective! That said, if other information is correct, Odokawa (who dropped her off at Yamamoto’s office/the Mystery Kiss rehearsal space) was the last person to see Mitsuya live other than the person who killed her. How much danger is he in because of that (in addition to the danger he’s willingly putting himself in playing multiple sides in the upcoming bank heist…)? Argh!

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Beyond this, we gain some insight into the origins of Rui’s relationship with Baba. I certainly can’t speak to what it’s like for folks in the entertainment industry trying to balance their work with their romantic relationships, but I always suspected that it was a tough balancing act to try to maintain among the many pressures of being a public personality. The additional insight into Rui’s now obviously fragile sense of self-worth helps to explain some of her comments from a few episodes ago, where she tells Baba that it’s okay if he’s not as successful as she is and that he doesn’t have to try so hard (which he truly isn’t). Yet, fame often seems to come to those who aren’t actively seeking it; I can imagine it would be frustrating to work and sweat adjacent the city’s criminal underbelly in search of fame, only to watch someone stumble into it without really trying. Now that Baba is seeing this sort of success, I wonder what his story’s endpoint might be?

I feel like we spend precious little time during this episode actually with Odokawa in his cab, thought the moments we do get are very interesting. Due to various circumstances (the Mystery Kiss apology press conference being one of them), parts of his master plan are starting to feel a bit shaky. His knowledge of the “two Mitsuyas” situation is a little concerning as well; Yamamoto’s deflection is difficult to read over the phone. And Little Daimon seems to be missing, while Big Daimon arrives to touch base with Odokawa. Who knows that and who is executing which plan now?

Every little smidgen of time we spend watching Goriki retrace Odokawa’s steps leaves me wanting more. He confirms through old newspaper reports that Odokawa’s parents both died in what was suspected to be a forced double-suicide situation. Odokawa was in their car as it was driven into a body of water, but he escaped; this explains his phobia of water/suffocation that’s cropped up a couple of times throughout the course of the series. There are still a great deal of unanswered questions about him and his life, and I’m beginning to wonder whether some of them will simply be left up to speculation at this point (which is definitely a valid storytelling technique; I wouldn’t mind just now knowing certain things for sure). The big question is, of course, “is Odokawa the only person seeing animals?” and I suspect that the mental health journal Odokawa kept following the accident might provide some insight into this, but that also might be a tantalizing dead-end. Could this be a fake-out? While I feel like this series has been exceedingly well-written and purposefully constructed throughout its entire run, I don’t think that this means that it’s required or necessary for it to provide concrete answers for every single situation or happenstance. Sometimes life just doesn’t provide solid answers to all its mysteries.

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As fun as it’s been to write about this series, I can’t help but think that these posts are devolving into the type of writing I don’t enjoy – rampant speculation and endless questions about what’s going to happen. I prefer to analyze what has happened through the lens of larger themes, and I suppose that’s been happening, too. If I do this again I think I’ll have to really rein-in some of these bad habits.

Anyway, only two episodes left! Waiting in between episodes is suffering, but I guess I did this to myself, didn’t I?