The Thirteen Buddha, along with Taishakuten and Bonten, must confront the evil Māra. Māra seeks revenge against Shaka Nyorai, who had previously saved the world from suffering and conflict by achieving enlightenment. – ANN
Episode Summary: It’s been centuries since Taishakuten and Bonten have visited the material world, so when they easily dispatch a manifestation of human vice and want something else to do afterward, they’re thwarted by all the modern conveniences (like washing machines and supermarkets) that have appeared in the meantime. The other Buddha tell them to relax and enjoy their time on Earth, but sitting around is boring and they’re both chomping at the bit to rid the world of other vices.
Shaka Nyorai takes the two out on an instructional journey, and points out that all humans suffer from some sort of vice, though most are small. The heavenly inclination would be to dispatch them before they grow larger, but that would take every hour of every day in perpetuity. Part of being human is learning to thwart these things on one’s own, and thus Taishakuten and Bonten need to learn when to leave well-enough alone. Just as they are settling into Earthly life, however, the peace is disturbed by the presence of an old enemy.
The whole world was devastated by the nuclear war. Under the strong rule of the World Empire, people are all suppressed and deprived of their own lives. A resistance team secretly keeps fighting to break the suppression while everyone is forbidden to possess any force of arms. The team arms themselves with “antique guns” that were left as works of art, and the incarnations of those antique guns are called “Musketeers” appear and join the team, as if they responded to the soul of the resistance. In their battles with the incarnations of contemporary guns who represent and are dispatched from the Empire, the “Musketeers” turn their “Absolute Noble” mode to give a powerful boost to themselves, and bring hope to the world. – ANN
Episode 1 Summary: Dreams of world peace were shattered when, after years of nuclear war and an alteration of the world’s climate, the World Empire took over and subdued the populace by force. Their rule is harsh and tramples over the very dignity of the people. But a resistance has formed in the underground, supplemented by the talents of a group of weapons-turned-human. These individuals have the power and personality of the antique weapons from which they were formed as well as a certain “x-factor” of absolute nobility in the face of danger. Many of the new recruits are forced to attempt a dangerous mission to save a resistance politician being transported to the capital. When the situation seems dire, one of them expresses their nobility and is given enough power to shoot down the Empire’s soldiers. But then he collapses on the battlefield – is this a doomed mission after all?
Impressions: The various ToukenRanbu anime incarnations made their marks by featuring a cast of characters based on personifications of various famous weapons (mostly melee weapons) that appeared throughout history. The Thousand Musketeers attempts to do the same by focusing solely on firearms and attempting to draw forth some kind of identifiable character personality from each classic, historical, or antique weapon. Thus far the end product is a very mixed bag of simple-yet-confusing plot elements and a cast that’s jam-packed with characters that are often difficult to distinguish from one-another.
Napoleon – a fancy gun with a fancy hat.
The opening scenes of the anime present several characters back-to-back in quick succession, each with a title card and a short description of their origin as a famous gun. This is, of course, while they’re all having conversations related to their general duties as agents of the rebellion, their “master” (who is unnamed and has not been shown on screen as of the end of the episode), and other info-dump-type material that might be important to take in, but is difficult to pay enough attention to as one is trying to read everything on the screen. I eventually started pausing the video after a while to make sure that I could read all the character info (not a favorite thing to do; I prefer to take in episodes in real-time), only to find that it was all too easy to forget about everything immediately afterward. Could I tell you who most of the characters’ names were? Absolutely not. Though I do remember Napoleon, whose ridiculously boisterous and snooty personality arrives immediately like a fart and is the one character who manages to leave an impression. There’s also an American one whose visual motif includes stars, stripes (pink instead of red), and pigtails, and while he’s definitely one-of-a-kind in terms of character design his name completely escapes me.
Presented with no further comment.
There’s an attempt to lay out some character relationships throughout the episode, the most memorable of which are between a couple of weapons that were on opposing sides during the American Revolutionary war. The extent of the bickering (especially when the American one busts out an American flag and threatens to hang it up where they’re all bunking together) adds a little levity to what is otherwise pretty bland and frothy entertainment. To be honest, considering how things have been going lately in the US, anything that can make fun of how ridiculous we are here in a way that gets me to chuckle even mildly has earned a point in my book. One thing that wasn’t made especially clear and which may not matter that much (unless you’re a gun collector or historian) is whether or not the boys-who-are-guns are actually using the rifles in battle which they themselves represent. Since all the firearms, as little as they’re actually on screen, seemed different from one-another, I would speculate that the answer is yes (and perhaps that’s something appealing about the game on which this is based). I think it would have made an interesting aside or a cool illustration for the commercial break screens to provide some more information about that.
The rescue operation begins.
Because most anime is based at least partly on some sort of fantasy premise or at least asks the audience to accept things that differ from reality in various ways, one measure of a “good” anime in my book is its ability to suspend the viewer’s disbelief. I’m a little more liberal of an anime consumer than a lot of folks and tend to get really rankled when others start complaining about minor deviations from reality, especially when the series in question is full of supernatural nonsense, magical powers, or fantasy worlds. But occasionally I’ll get caught on a detail and I can’t let it go. In the case of this episode, we’re to believe that the characters are part of a rebel underground where they’re in hiding from the government and living in fear of being discovered. That’s fine and dandy, but there’s a goofy scene partway through where one character offers to make the others “honey crepes.” There’s an entire montage at the beginning of the episode that talks about nuclear devastation, and a lot of the other imagery implies that the quality of life in general has gone way downhill after the literal collapse of society. So where are these resistance fighters, who are, I remind you, living in a deteriorated bunker of some sort, getting things like honey, processed flour, eggs, or milk? Sweet stuff is typically a luxury item in times of scarcity, so I wonder just who their supplier is (though considering that their “master” can take guns and turn them into hot guys, perhaps it’s not that hard to believe they might have some way to produce it). I’d also love to know where they’re getting their clothing, considering that everyone else is practically dressed in rags. Also, how rifles where the user has to arm them with gunpowder and pellets by hand every time can take out soldiers that look like cyborg police. But that might be asking for too much realism.
Speaking of montages, there’s a comically-unconvincing training montage where the newer recruits prepare themselves to carry out the rescue mission. They’re show running through the forest with their guns in had (probably holding them in a manner which would irritate actual gun owners, I’d wager). I was actually taken aback by the fact that, half an episode in, we were already treated to such a goofy and cliche presentation device, but the more I think about it the more it seems appropriate for such a goofy show.
Despite my obvious eye-rolling towards this episode, I can’t say that I wasn’t entertained. Even if the entertainment value was mostly unintentional and based on the fundamental weirdness of the premise, I still don’t feel like my time was wasted. And if I had to choose between The Thousand Musketeers and Upotte!!, the female expression of a similar idea, you’d better believe I’d choose silliness over sexualization. If your tolerance level is higher than mine (or if you’re thirstier for a variety of bishounen characters, I suppose), this might provide some entertainment.
Pros: The premise is mildly educational in a silly sort of way. The episode uses its resources wisely, saving some of the nicer-looking animation for the action in the second half.
Cons: This episode is a confusing character dump of epic proportions. I have a hard time believing that an underground resistance movement could afford such luxuries as honey crepes and fancy outfits.
